Why do kids ask so many questions? But more importantly: Why do they stop?

Thoughts from Richard Saul Wurman and the comedian Louis C.K.

A while back I was discussing the subject of “questioning” with Richard Saul Wurman, the original creator of the TED Conference and a man who’s pretty much obsessed with questions.

He immediately focused on the educational system. “In school, we’re rewarded for having the answer, not for asking a good question,” Wurman pointed out. Which may explain why kids—who start off asking endless “why” and “what if” questions—gradually ask fewer and fewer of them as they progress through grade school.

This also came up in a recent Newsweek story, "The Creativity Crisis," about signs of declining creativity among our school children. Interesting fact cited in the article: Preschool kids ask their parents an average of 100 questions a day. By middle school, they’ve basically stopped asking questions. Around this time, the article points out, student motivation and engagement plummets. Which raises an interesting question: Have the kids stopped asking questions because they’ve lost interest? Or have they lost interest because the rote answers-driven school system doesn’t allow them to ask enough questions?

There’s a lot to explore here and I’m just getting started on it. I know that there are many teachers, and progressive schools, and programs within schools, that are much more geared to allowing kids to question and experiment. I plan to take a closer look at some of those efforts and ask whether they should be embraced more widely. Meanwhile, if you have thoughts, ideas, anecdotes (and of course, questions) about the role of questioning within our educational system, please share. Oh, and just for fun, here’s a wonderful video riff by comedian Louis C.K. all about kids and questions.

Go to the 7 minute mark to get to the bit about questions (if you can’t abide 4-letter words, you may want to skip it):

Why Louis CK

Mostly Curious

There was a true story about a truck that drove under a low bridge overpass and got stuck. The city core of engineers went out to determine how to support the the bridge while removing the concrete slabs to allow the truck to be removed. Then a child asked: Why don’t you just let the air out of the tires…
Children have the basic level of thinking to know the questions to ask. I think it is the intervention of fear such as asking a dumb question, or shame when adults telling them -not now, that quashes their need to ask questions. Most children and adults still ask those questions albeit, internally.

Warren Berger
Twitter: GlimmerGuy

that is such a great story. and so true about kids — the question is, how do we maintain that childlike curiosity & willingness to question?

Warren Berger

- JustinHamilton
  
  “how do we maintain that childlike curiosity & willingness to question?”
  
  I think it starts by adults (specifically parents) challenging them with questions. Quite often, when parents quit expecting higher results from their children, then the child stops developing in those ways. To continue that ever upward slope of success, it requires challenge and work. You can’t get to the top of a hill on a bike by coasting!
  I believe that a large percentage of us grow into what is expected of us. My father always challenged me with puzzles, riddles, and sometimes endless questions. But it was a fun interaction that I had with my father.
  
  JustinHamilton

David E C Huggins

What single action has the greatest impact, either positive or negative, on productivity?
This is not a trick question; it’s a great question, because it invited you to think!

Consider for a moment, you had the art of using questions really ‘taped’ when you were a toddler. Your questions taught you everything you needed and wanted to know in a strange and often threatening world.

You could get peoples attention, have them focus on you, respond to your needs and perhaps satisfy your desires. This made you more competent and confident; in the process, many of them felt fulfilled in their role as parent or older sibling.

Then it all changed! They decided to limit your use of this powerful communication tool because it wasn’t always comfortable. Your teachers discovered that it was frequently more convenient to have you accept their ideas without questions since this took less time and effort on their part.

In a short while, you lost the desire and the skill to use questions to manage your world.

Take heart – it’s easily regained. Here are three pointers that will have you moving in the right direction once more, and you’ll be amazed at how this will change your fortunes and your relationships.

Firstly, a great question is any question that invites a mind to open and to share – this is engagement!

Secondly, effective questions have two components – they have a clear purpose and they build on relationships. In short, the outcome has been properly considered and the residue / legacy is positive.

Thirdly, questions that work are both closed (direct) and open (expansive). A direct question is a good way to attract attention and to initiate or close a conversation. Open or expansive questions are an excellent way to encourage value added content in between. Here’s a typical process for a question-based conversation:

Can we talk about this? (closed – makes for a safe conversation)
How does this situation look to you? (opening – invites contribution in a non-threatening way)
How could this be handled in the most effective way? (open – asks for original input)
What do you see as the consequences? (opening – defines action and transfers responsibility)
When will we see results? (closed – confirms intended action)
Was that painful? Could you do this? In what ways would it benefit you? Could I assist you?

When will you start?

Julius Uhrik
Twitter: julius_uhrik

Questions are actually an interesting phenomenon.

A question you ask gives you more than attention. It gives you control.
Try a little experiment. In the next conversation you have start with a question and keep asking. Now note who is the one choosing the direction of the dialogue? You are!

The school system (most of them all over the world) has one goal. To bring everybody on the same (reasonable) level.

Build a kind of common sense, communication platform so that we can understand one another.

Whether we like it or not, letting the kids ask questions at school does not fit into this picture. You can’t have 30 kids asking the teacher questions. Well, actually you can and then you end up with a small anarchy, which is controlled by the kids. Not the teacher.
You see results of this everywhere. It works just as bad as the standard education without questions.

So how do we solve this?
(Did you notice I am asking questions even when I write? I regain your attention with every question I ask.)

Personally, I believe that the school system will fall short on this issue. You have a far greater chance to support children in asking questions. How? By one-on-one coaching at home.

Support children in asking questions.

When playing with kids, let them ask the questions and let them be in control.

When a question is asked, answer it! Keep in mind, you should be rewarding every question and the answer you give is the crucial turning point. Your answer can bring up more questions or dismiss the rest of the conversation (and questions).

Question everything, don’t take things for granted and ask questions in front of your children.

Leading children by example can definitely contribute to the process.

There is also another possible reason why children are stopping to ask questions. I have published it on my website. Let me finish with a question: Anybody interested?